Healthy masculinity – therapists on Youtube

I love Youtube, it’s a great resource for learning about therapy and also just in general I love having videos on in the background while I work so I can learn about all kinds of things. Some of my favorite categories to listen to are movie or TV show reviews by therapists, and I found a few channels that effectively have tackled issues around trauma and toxic masculinity in great ways. Here are some of my favorites!

Cinema Therapy – therapist Jonathan Decker and his filmmaker friend Alan Seawright talk about popular movies. They break them down cinematically as well as reviewing therapy concepts like parenting, grief, healthy relationships, and of course, therapy! What really impressed me with this channel was that it’s two white men who openly talk about their feelings with one another, without backing away, avoiding, or being overly joking to deflect away from serious topics. In their review of the movie A Quiet Place, Jonathan describes his own fears about fatherhood and empathizes with the characters in the film. Both men cry openly when the feeling moves them, and crying is never presented as something shameful or wrong. I appreciate how they approach topics around masculinity and relationships as they offer a great example for people of any gender on how to expect someone to treat you and how to treat others in return. They also are very funny, especially in their reviews of Twilight. I of course always appreciate real therapists taking apart bad movie depictions of therapists so those are my favorite of their videos.

Patrick Teahan, LICSW – therapist Patrick Teahan covers topics around early childhood trauma and how adults who experienced these traumas can heal. I appreciate his approach and the way that he speaks about his own trauma – he discloses in a way that I feel brings the concepts to light for the viewer but the channel does not exist for him to focus on himself. He gives real practical tips for how to deal with family members in actual situations that are common, like feeling guilted by someone after setting a boundary. The best thing he does in these videos is take on the personas of different family members in filming. He doesn’t do it in a wacky Eddie Murphy style way, but he embodies the psyche of different characters in a way that brings the concept to light really effectively.

Psychology in Seattle – Dr. Kirk Honda is probably the most famous Youtube therapist at this point in time, mostly due to his reaction videos about 90 Day Fiance and several other popular shows. I enjoy his deep dives on attachment as well as his analysis of couples and family dynamics in his reality TV analysis. He gives actual language that people can use in their arguments to convey their needs and express their feelings healthily. He talks about how masculinity assumptions show up inside a relationship, such as arguments over chores, and how couples can approach these topics. He also expresses his experiences as a man and how he got over his inability to cry after he realized he was socialized as a boy to not express his emotions in that way. He also never shies away from talking about gender or racial dynamics, and he explains concepts like how sexual kinks work in a non-judgemental way to give knowledge to the viewer. He identifies as hapa (he has Japanese and European ancestry) and he often discusses his experience as a biracial person and how racism has impacted him and other people. I learn so much from him, I often use his videos in my classes to teach concepts around couples and family dynamics. He also a diverse and fun group of friends on his show which include therapists and lay people. My favorite of his cohosts is Humberto, who is not a therapist, as he talks about his own life and has a really dark sense of humor.

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